I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
