but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
