I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He felt like a one man threesome
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
