y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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