im about as happy as oj after his trial
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
