I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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