Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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