its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
