K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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