Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize