doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
