Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
