I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
