he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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