You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
