Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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