He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey