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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

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• (831): View more from California

  Don't EVER smell your tampon

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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• (845): View more from New York

  They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

  (1-845): View more from New York

  howd you meet them?

  (845): View more from New York

  They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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• 

  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  Whiskey??

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a black eye again and dont know why again

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