Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"