Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky