First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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