I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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