life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
