Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
