Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
