I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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