We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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