Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
