come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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