Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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