On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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