I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A bitchslap is in order.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
