Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
...so i touched it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
