I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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