lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
