too bad you live with your parents still
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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