I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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