I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
