I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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