clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
