hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
