SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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