ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
