this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
