You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
