Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize