I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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