my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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