..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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