I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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