Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
