addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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