Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
