Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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