The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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