does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
