doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
