i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
