having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
