I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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