You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
