You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
