Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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