If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There's even glitter on my cock...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
