remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
