yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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