I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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