wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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